getting started again

i know, i know. i have so dropped the ball with my blogging. but i am ready to get started again.

sometimes i don't feel like i have anything to say - not enough going on in my life to write about. i could write about jesse every day because he does amazing things all the time. but i want this to be about me too. so it is hard to figure out what to write about.

today i have been struggling with thoughts about my weight. i want to lose weight. i don't need to be skinny, just comfortable. i came to a realization today. hold on to your hats, people. it takes work to lose weight. i know, a shocker, huh?

don't worry. i've always known it takes work to lose weight but i had to remind myself of that. i need to make a plan. i tend to try and take the easy way out but look where that has gotten me. so i am going to get a plan together and get started (again). i have made a start more times then i can remember. but i know that i am not giving up. so i start again.

i will probably write about this some in the days and weeks to come. i know i have issues with food and i know i am not a huge fan of exercise but i will be working at them both. i want to change this part of my life. i want to be different.

sometimes it just hits me

today was a rough day. i wasn't feeling well and things weren't going my way. i was in a parking lot talking to my husband on the phone and things just kind of all hit me at once and i just started crying. i was crying and sniffing and feeling sorry for myself when all of the sudden this incredibly amazing sound came from the backseat.

my son, jesse, was laughing his head off. i have never heard him laugh so hard. i looked back and he was just exploding with laughter. every time i sniffed he would just start all over again. so of course, i couldn't help myself and i started laughing too. philip, my husband, heard him over the phone and started laughing as well. it really just turned my day around.

it seems that a lot of times when i am feeling down, overwhelmed, or just plain done, the Lord uses jesse to remind me i don't have it as bad as i build it up in my mind that i have it.

we went camping over labor day weekend with some our of best friends. we met jay and tina in our adoption classes. we have been so blessed to have them in our lives. they adopted their son, brennan, 9 months before we adopted jesse. anyways, we were camping with them this past weekend and it was so great to see the boys together and to know that God planned and placed these very special boys in our families. He knew we needed them and they needed us.

we went swimming when we were camping and it was so great to see jesse playing in the water with philip. one of the neatest things for me was to see how safe jesse felt with philip. jesse would come to me for a few minutes but it was very apparent that he wanted to be with daddy. he let philip dunk him under water, spin him around, throw him in the air and it all included lots of laughing and yelling with excitement. i love to watch him with his daddy. it does my heart good.

thank You, Lord, for my son.