are we ready?

if you have been following my blog, you know my son, jesse, is adopted. it is a truly amazing experience. well, we are planning to start the adoption process again in august. we are really excited.

but when it comes right down to it, i'm a little freaked out too. jesse is just starting to really move around and is finding all kinds of things to get into and it is so hard to keep an eye on him all the time. and as i said last night, he is testing his boundaries. so as we move toward another adoption and child, i start wondering, "am i ready for 2?"

in my heart i know i am. i can't wait to add to our already blessed family. and i know jesse will love having sister or brother. but my mind is spinning - how will i do it? i babysat for a friend the other day and i had jesse with me as well. i quickly became aware of the need to stagger feeding, changing, etc. it will definitely have a learning curve.

i remember feeling the same way before we got jesse. will i be a good mom? can i make the right decisions? do i have the patience? and the moment i held jesse, those questions faded to the background for awhile. i knew i could do it. it just felt right.

now that doesn't mean i don't still have those questions run thru my mind, but i know that whatever comes along i can do it because i love him. they say love conquers all and it does.

it amazes me how i can be having the worst day - nothing going right, nasty customers at work, computer not working right, burnt dinner - and jesse laughs or gives me a hug and all is right with the world for a few moments.

so yes, i think we are ready. i may still freak out a little but i know when the time comes we will be ready and so blessed.