why can't i sleep?

have you ever had insomnia? i do. not as bad as i used to. when i was single, i would clean my house at 3o'clock in the morning cause i couldn't sleep. since having jesse, my insomnia isn't as bad. guess he helps me be more tired at night.

but sometimes it isn't even about being tired. like tonight, i am really tired. but thinking about going to bed just makes me feel restless and jittery. so i know if i go to bed i will just lay there looking at the ceiling, checking the clock, and my mind will be running a mile a minute. not very restful.

i have only taken over the counter sleep medicine once or twice. now with jesse i am afraid if i take the medicine i won't hear jesse if he wakes up or if i hear him i will be too groggy to be of any use.

sometimes insomnia can be put to productive use - like cleaning the house, blogging (tee hee), paying bills, answering email, etc. it is one of the few times i am alone. so sometimes i don't mind it. but it seems to happen a lot when i really could use the rest for the day to come. i'm sure that is part of the problem - my brain is planning for the day ahead and is trying to get a head start.

anyways, tonight seems to be one of those nights. i think i might read instead of laying and looking at the ceiling. i am reading a jd robb book that is pretty good. maybe i will finish it.

good night, all.