a little more

just a little more about my thought noodle from yesterday. the opportunities. i know that i have many opportunities a day to start or build a relationship. i also know i have many excuses and ways to not start or build a relationship.

one thing that comes to mind is a comment i made to one of my neighbors. we were talking one time and i said something about if i am not in the mood to deal with the world, i leave my living room curtains closed. well, unbeknownst to me, she took this to heart and wouldn't call or come over if they were closed. that really hit me hard. i do close myself off sometimes and i know closed curtains aren't the only weapon in my arsenal. i think i need to start going thru my weapons of closed-offness and get rid of them.

i also know that it will not be an easy process. i know that with the opportunities God gives me for relationships comes the very real possibility of hurt and rejection. so i have to decide if the hope of the relationship making a difference in that person's life (and mine) is worth the risk. it is hard to decide that when you aren't sure what the cost will be. but i know that God will be with me and if i follow His leading, it will have an eternal purpose. and i am willing to do what i need to if there is a purpose and knowledge that some one's life will be changed for the better.