it's done

well, i did it. i had the yard sale and got rid of lots of stuff. made a little money too. i was so glad my neighbor did a joint yard sale with me. i know if she hadn't been doing it with me, i would have woken up this morning and gone, "nope, not doing it" and gone back to sleep.

but that being said, i am really glad i did it. it is nice to have so much stuff gone, never to return.

i am working hard on my life yard sale too. i have really been faithful with my Bible reading and journalling. and i am working at adding something productive to each day. it is hard work but definitely worth it. but it is also showing me more i need to do in my life.

it was like that when we took stuff out of the garage for the yard sale. i was thinking we were going to empty a lot more space, but taking out the stuff for the yard sale just showed how much more stuff was in there. so we will just keep working on it a little at a time.

no great revelation

well, tomorrow is the yard sale. i am so ready for it to be over and all the stuff gone. i am going "clean house" style and whatever doesn't sell in the yard sale is going to goodwill or the dump. a true purge of stuff i don't need.

i have started the same process in my life. i am working on cleaning out the junk that doesn't need to be there to make room for things i actually have a use for. this blog is part of that - taking time to do something creative and productive instead of just sitting around watching tv.

anyways, that is all i have for today. no great revelation, just trying to move ahead and do better in my life.

Remember my chains

i was doing my bible reading last night and paul said something in colossians 4:18 that really stopped me in my tracks.

remember my chains

even now i am not sure why it jumped out at me or what it means. maybe paul is asking us to remember the cost of serving God. maybe he is asking for prayer for his situation. i don't know but the statement is strong and for me very thought provoking.

if you have any thoughts on this, please let me know. i will write more about this as i have more time to think about it.

alone with you

at worship practice last night we worked on a new song called "sweep me away" from enter the worship circle. here are some of the lyrics.

You sweep me away to bone-crushing waters
Bury me deep in the arms of the Father
You swallow me whole in the deepest of deeps
I'm alone with You, I'm alone with You

that is definitely a picture of what i need sometimes. bone-crushing waters to break up my hardness. buried deep in His arms to shut out all distractions. swallow me whole so i can give my all to Him. alone with Him so i can be totally open and honest and really work on the parts of me that i keep hidden from everyone.

Lord, break up my hardness, give You everything and tell You all my secrets.

why do we do these things to each other?

i found out late last night that someone apparently got my check card number and used it to make a payment to a collection company. the bank is researching it and hopefully will get it straightened out. it is a stressful and scary thing that someone has my info.

it got me to thinking. how does someone come to the conclusion that it is okay to do something like that? to do something that can really harm someone. i'm not naive. i know that people do bad things and don't seem to have a conscience about it but it is so hard for me to understand.

even as a little kid, i couldn't lie. i broke my mom's antique tea cup after being told not to play with it. after i broke it, i hid it. (not well. i hid it in my mom's drawer. i'm sure she found it.) anyways, she never said anything about it to me. but i couldn't sleep and had to go in the middle of the night, wake her up and tell her about it.

i know. i know. i sound like a goody goody too shoes (is that how you write it?). but i honestly just don't understand the thought process of deliberately doing something like this.

okay. i am done with my boohooing and ranting. just a hard thing to deal with.

forever the same

it is so awesome that Jesus never changes. i have been thinking and talking about making changes and how Jesus is always there even when i am far away. i was cleaning off my desk and came across a poem/song i started writing years ago. here it is.

He is so faithful
On Him will i call
Whenever i stumble
Whenever i fall
I am so weak
His love makes me strong
He gives me hope
A brand new song

He poured out His love
He gave it for free
My pain He took
He cleansed me
My heart it was hard
Of stone it was made
But Jesus was there
His love doesn't fade

thank you Lord for never changing

father's day

i am so thankful for the fathers in my life.

in church today there was a message on father's day of course. and in watching people's reactions to this message just reminded me how blessed i am to have the father i have. a lot of people aren't as blessed as i am with the father in their life.

i have a dad who always there for me, even when we were (and are) in different cities, states, and countries. i have a dad who loves me and always let me know it. i have a dad who is a parent, mentor, friend, and hero. thanks dad for being my dad.

i also have a husband who is an amazing dad to our son. he changes diapers, gets up in the middle of the night even when he has to go to work the next day, plays funny games, reads, and just plain loves to hang out with jesse. he cares about jesse and wants to be the best dad he can be. thanks philip for being a great dad.

here is a little something jesse wrote for his daddy. yes, i know it is incredible how articulate our 15 month old is.

I just love hanging out with my daddy.
One of my favorite times of the day is about 5pm.

I hear the front door open, look over and there is my daddy.

I get so excited to see him I can hardly stand it.

My daddy is teaching me all kinds of things.

Right now we are learning about remotes.

I have learned how to turn the light and fan on in the living room with the remote.

Pretty cool.

I think the thing I love most about my daddy is

that he likes spending time with me as much as I like spending time with him.

Happy Father’s day, Daddy.
Love, Jesse

6/15/08

finally, i have a heavenly Father who watches out for me and loves me even when i am far away from Him. i definitely take Him for granted but He is there the moment i call to Him. how amazing is that. thanks Lord for being my Father.

a few words

my neighbors and i are having a yard sale next week. yard sales are great. i love to go to them and treasure hunt. you can find some amazing things at yard sales.

but i am having one. which means lots of work to get ready. i have a garage full of stuff. my husband will be so glad to have his garage back. i had a booth in an antique store for awhile and so have accumulated so much stuff. it will be great to get rid of all this stuff just taking up space in our garage. not really looking forward to sorting thru all of the stuff but has to be done.

i think i need to do a big sort in my life as well. and just like getting ready for the garage sale, not really looking forward to it. but all the work will be worth it. there is a big pay off in the end. just like i hope there is a big payoff at the end of the yard sale as well. and i never know what i might find when i sort out my garage and my life.

i'm thankful

i am thankful for so many things. but here are a few that i thought of today.

• my husband - for all the little things he does



• my son - for his amazing ability to brighten my darkest day



• rain - i know but i love it



• music - it speaks to me

just a few things that helped me thru the day today.

it's been awhile

yes, it has been awhile since i have written anything. i could make excuses (i'm sooo busy, we've all been sick, i don't have anything to say, etc.). some of these are true and some imagined. basically, i just haven't done it. so today i pledge to write something every day - even if it is just a sentence, a thanks, a complaint, a scream - just something.

this is my awesome family. my best times are times spent with them. they make me a better person, more of who i want to be all the time.

i have really been thinking about a post on my dad's blog - http://www.jimstephensblog.blogspot.com/ - titled "my eyes are dry." you should really check it out. my dad is a pretty cool guy and really wise. i don't think i let him know that enough.

anyways, i have been feeling that way - a little dry. and it is pretty much because of my lack of effort on reaching out to God. why do i do this? i know how much better (is better the right word or is focused the word?) my life is and how much more open to what life has in store for me i am when i am working at my relationship with God. in talking with some friends last night, i realized i want to surround myself with transparent people, real people, but for that to happen i have to be that kind of person. yikes! do i want it that bad? i think i do.

so i have to work on being more real, more honest - and that includes being real and honest with myself. i tend to be a glass half full, look on the bright side of life type person, but to my detriment sometimes. i use my power of bright-side-of-life to avoid unpleasantness and "reality" at times. i just want everything to be good. but often, it is the hard stuff, the unpleasant stuff that brings the most growth and even most joy.

it is time for a hard, honest look at who i am and where God wants me to go. so here i go on this new leg of my life.